An actual conversation from the back seat of my car yesterday, 20 minutes into what would be almost four hours of driving and 20 minutes after I told Noodle’s teacher that the kids are very good in the car (stupid, stupid):
Noodle: NO! MINE!!
Peeta: Noodle, no! You can’t take all the snacks!
Noodle: Mama! Peeta says I can’t eat all the snacks!
Me: Noodle, you can’t eat all the snacks. You may have half the snacks and Peeta gets the other half.
(Slapping is heard in the back seat)
Peeta: Noodle! Stop slapping me!
Noodle: MAMAAAA! PEETA SAID STOP SLAPPING ME!
Me: Noodle! Peeta is right. You can’t slap your brother. Stop it right now.
(Mumbling is heard from the back seat. I can make out “stinky” and “poopy”)
Peeta, practically in tears: Noodle! Stop calling me stinky poopface!
Noodle: Mama! PEETA CALLED ME STINKY POOPFACE!
Peeta: You called me stinky poopface first!
(Both children are crying)